There’s been some discussion on ScienceBlogs of Jonah Lehrer’s recent piece for the NYTimes, a review of depression and rumination and some mildly interesting thoughts on why rumination may confer an evolutionary advantage, thus preserving depression through evolution. Like most evolutionary psych theories, I think this is sort of pretty much bunk–a trait just doesn’t have to kill you off before you reproduce to be kept in the gene pool. Hell, even if it does kill you off, if your sibling has that gene but not expressed in the same manner and they reproduce, the gene can be passed on without issues. A really interesting book about genetics and disease states that I would highly reccomend is Survival of the Sickest.

That drifted off topic pretty quickly.

Okay, so the article is about rumination in depression and how it serves an essential function: for people with reactive depressions (that is, depression because something in their life sucks, like a pet or close friend or family member dying or being diagnosed with a serious illness or losing a job, as opposed to depression strictly caused by a chemical imbalance), the process of rumination helps alleviate the depression itself. Rumination is going over and over and over a scenario or comment or anything in in the past repeatedly. People who tend to be ruminative thinkers are more likely to be depressed, though it’s not completely clear if this is because ruminative thought processes lead to depression (otherwise known as dwelling on shitty stuff in life) or if people who are depressed turn to rumination.

I think it’s pretty simple to draw a parallel here to perseveration, or doing/thinking/saying something over and over again. It is also important to note that a large number of people on the autism spectrum do struggle with depression and/or anxiety. I would like to suggest that the broader thinking style is perseverative, and rumination (focus on events in the past) and worry (focus on events in the future) are just two subtypes of this broader thinking style. It doesn’t occur in just people on the autism spectrum: people with ADD (especially the inattentive/not hyperactive types) and people with ocd experience it, too. It seems that the broader neurodiverse community has at least a passing familiarity with this so-called autistic trait that we tend to assume must be unique to us as a group. Hell, even neurotypical people perseverate (though because they’re NT we kindly don’t label it as if it’s something bad or wrong or symptomatic).

So rumination allows (at least some) people who are depressed to focus and solve whatever problem it is that is causing their depression. People who are on the spectrum or otherwise neurodiverse use perseveration in much the same way at least some of the time–and sometimes, perhaps, it traps us into a negative thinking pattern which results in depression. Perhaps we are more inclined to perseveration/rumination/what have you being our thinking style overall. While not being able to turn off this compulsive drive can lead to problems, I think it’s certainly true that it can also lead to victories. We likely would not have some of our scientific achievements without people who perseverated the crap out of their topic of choice. On a more personal level, perseveration allows me to work through my thoughts and sort them into a coherent form that I can easily access and share with others. Yes, it can trap me into nonfuctional routines, food choices, or thinking patterns, but it is also rewarding. Perseveration taught me to draw well (I wonder if my parents still have any of the literally hundreds of variations I did of a single girl copied out of a book my dad had), probably had a part in my extreme early literacy, produced some of my best fiction writing. Perseverative thinking produced this blog post.

I don’t think we necessarily need to have an evolutionary explanation for why rumination (and as suggested by the article, depression) happens. Like many traits found within the non-neurotypical portion of neurodiversity, I think a tendency to be ruminative is just a part of the broader human experience. This makes labelling it a problem within the non-NT part of the population pretty obnoxious, though: because it is our primary thinking style rather than an accessory thinking style, we suddenly have problematic thinking. It is important to separate out the thinking style (perseverative) from the problems that can result. My way of thinking isn’t a problem. My choice of topics of what to think about (inasmuch as they are a choice) can be.

I’m not sure how to write a good transition here, so just go with me.

Also common in non-NTs are difficulties with executive function. This is basically the part of your brain that plans, that does a lot of abstract thinking, that allows for flexibility rather than adherence to routine, that helps keep your working memory strong. To varying degrees, most people on the spectrum seem to have some difficulties with executive function. It is also a major problem in depression for a lot of people.

What if perseveration is used to help overcome executive dysfunction?

What actually brought this to mind was an article in Real Simple, a magazine I flipped through at my mom’s house. It reminded me of information I already know, but had forgotten (ha!): there are a couple different theories of what working memory IS out there, but they all seem to agree that to move something from working memory to actual kept knowledge requires effort–repetitions, emotional involvement, word tricks.

Yes, that’s right, working memory often requires repetitive processing of information to transfer that information to long-term memory and become part of a person’s knowledge base. And that, if you are lucky enough to be non-neurotypical, is often called “perseveration.” Or rumination. If people with executive dysfunctions (spectrumites, depressed people, people with OCD, Tourette’s, ADHD, whatever) are also more likely to have ruminative thought processes, and we know that at least a little bit of rumination/perseveration can help assist along working memory (an executive function), then it seems like there should be studies on the effects of perseverative thinking in overcoming executive functioning problems for, well, everyone with executive functioning problems!

I totally see my postdoc right here, guys. Now I need to get into med school.

Steampunk headphones. Yes, they work. Yes, they ARE badass, thank you.

Prosper is sick of travelling. However, he came home with a lovely consolation prize.

At the start of February, I escaped the second of back-to-back snowstorms with a meandering trip down to Atlanta to see Dad and Ron. The cat came along and stayed with Mik, which Prosper was less than enthused about.

This is what I was escaping:

So the cat went to Greensboro to trial run being away from his Mama for a while (he’ll be staying with Mik and/or Mom while I’m in Australia), and I went down to Atlanta.

It promptly snowed, because I am the Bringer of Ragnarok.

Then I came back to Mom’s and rescued my kitten. He was very pleased.

Then we came home, and I got new shoes. The box has been his favourite toy (of course) for a couple of days. Well, besides the Beloved Mousie.

I love TEDtalks; they are often enlightening, often entertaining, often interesting. This talk is by Aimee Mullins, on the nature of disability, and is well worth your 22 minutes.

In more personal news, the cat and I are back from Hotlanta and pictures will arrive shortly.

This change has led to a huge uproar within the autism community. The blogs I like and tend to read are mostly on the autism hub, and for the most part everyone there seems to agree that this is an excellent change. There’s no clinical distiction between AS and autism; the usual differentiation in diagnosis is the age of diagnosis and verbal skills (if you could speak relatively on time as a child or are being diagnosed at a later age or adulthood, AS tends to be the label). These are not good precitive measures of how a child diagnosed as autistic or AS will fare later in life, and an adult with excellent verbal skills may still lack intuitive social understanding or have extreme preoccupations and interests at a level surpassing adults who were diagnosed in childhood with autism. The new criteria seem pretty loose so far, and should encompass the whole spectrum of diagnosable individuals; I do meet the new criteria (though their vagueness took me a while to parse and work out which of the old criteria alligned where).

However, there are a large number of people on the spectrum currently carrying an AS diagnosis who are PISSED OFF. They don’t want to be lumped in with “them”–those autistic people, who you know are totes retarded and need diapers and just stim on string all day.

This, children, is called prejudice, and it’s bullshit.

See, the autism spectrum is broad–probably as broad as the neurotypical spectrum. It covers a range of traits, some contradictory, a range of IQs, a range of self-help skills. A person can be a genius with no ability to converse or remember to bathe, or intellectually disabled with fastidious hygiene and many compulsive behaviours. A person can be me: almost 25, graduate school educated, with a handful of close friends, with poor eye contact, obsessive interests, and some trouble working out emotions and social skills.

To paraphrase Ari Ne’eman, who I think got it very right: My identity isn’t about having AS, it’s about being on the autism spectrum. I don’t care what you call it, it is a huge relief to know that my collection of difficulties and strengths has a name, and there are people like me. I welcome this change, because I welcome the chance to show more people that autism is a spectrum, and we all deserve the help we need to be the best people we can be. I’m not ashamed to be on the same spectrum as kids I work with, or the adults they will grow into, because they are fundamentally human and we share overlapping traits.

Ultimately, I think the autism label will shatter as we find biomarkers for different subsets of persons on the spectrum–this genetic biomarker is linked to these autism spectrum traits, this one to these other traits, and so on. But for now, autism is a behaviour and thought driven diagnosis, and I welcome the inclusion of the spectrum into medical practice.

For more reading on this topic (by no means an inclusive list!):

Bev at Asperger Square 8
Sarah at Cat in a Dog’s World
Left Brain/Right Brain
Sadder but wiser girl at A Time Will Come
Joey and Andy’s mom at Life with Joey

There’s more at my photo stream on flickr.

Have you, O Reader, ever felt like you can’t catch a break? Every time you turn around, something is happening that prevents you from advancing? Yeah. The last few months have felt like that, and I was bitterly convinced that 2010 would be better because it couldn’t be worse. I stand corrected. It can be at least the same level of suck.

Things that have happened in January since my last substantive post:

1. I fell down the stairs outside my apartment, bruised myself up.

2. I told the neuro the gabapentin wasn’t working and got very little help from him (I’m trying a hefty dose of magnesium and will be adding riboflavin shortly, as reccomended in the best book about migraines I have ever read even if she does think accupuncture isn’t a total sham).

3. The glasses I found and wanted were sold out (I ended up buying the ones with the real! wood! sides!, we’ll see if they’re as badass as they seem)

4. I negotiated/weeped my way to a resolution on my MRI bill (short version: Them: “You don’t qualify for the fee reduction because in the past 3 months you made X with would mean your yearly salary is Y, about $8,000 over the limit.” Me: “Can you not see the part where I did, in fact, make a salary under the limit? This is stupid math.” Then some weeping, and an agreement to resubmit my claim in April with all new paystubs).

5. I had to pay over $400 in taxes because my job sucks at doing their job witholding. Seriously, how could I, at around 200% of the poverty level, owe the feds money? WTF?

6. Prosper sprained his little kitteh wrist and was all limpy until the vet gave him (an expensive) shot that made him a little loopy.

7. Dollhouse ended and the finale sucked.

8. I DID NOT HAVE INTERNET AND IT WAS HORRIBLE DEATH. The internet has now been restored. You can tell, because I am alive.

9. At this point I should make a 10 point list, don’t you think? Uh, I had a serious lack of therapy. Further, my asshole insurance decided I probably only need 6 more sessions. This won’t be a catastrophe because of the moving and all that, but if I wasn’t? Jerks. Therapy is waaaaay better than drugs, even if it is more expensive. We’re working on my awareness of my tendency to be rigid and how to think my way through that. We had a really good one this past Monday about thought planning in new social situations that was super helpful. Fuck you, insurance!

10. My job continues to suck.

I am so looking forward to going down to Dad’s next week. Here’s hoping I don’t get snowed in.

I’ve had a lot of thoughts and ideas and pictures of the cat in the mean time, but for now I am at a loss for what to write; the bad thing about blogging is the longer one doesn’t do it, the harder it is to start again.

Edit: Ebay comes through! Quickly!

1. What appear to be very similar (the auction is for the first colour shown) to the ones sold out.

2. Real wood.

3. Possibly cute but too big?

I have exchanged convivial emails with Scott Urban, of the awesomesauce Urban Spectacles. His prices start at $650, lenses are included at cost, and all the fiddly stuff like inlays are (reasonably) more. Who has some money to give me? No?

I’ve also emailed with the Herrlich people, but no word yet on the pricing.

I’ve found a more different pair of faux-wood, though, that I sort of crave. They can be viewed here. Can I wear this shape?