If your response to someone being upset with you for your bad behaviour is along the lines of, “Your feelings are your business. You could choose not to be upset,” then you are in sore need of an empathy lesson. I would also strongly remind you that while you cannot “fix” or change another’s emotions, you are always in charge of your own actions: if another person is hurt in reaction to your actions, it would be thoughtful and kind to consider why.
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My name is Ali, though sometimes it's Eliot.
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“You could choose not to be upset.”
I’ve never understood that one, because I’ve never met a single person who had that degree of control over hir emotions!
Really, as someone who 1) doesn’t experience very much, if any, intense emotion when her mental health is good, and 2) cannot cope very well with intense emotions when she does have them, I would use that ability every time I felt upset if I actually possessed it.
But I don’t possess it. No one does.
So, besides being a callous thing to say, it’s also a very stupid one.