we'll work it out

First of all, I think that this expresses my current mood best. There is a box of sugar cookies behind me, taunting.

True story: I once made Dylan a sugar cookie fiend out of fleece and it plays the sugar cookies rampage. I am aware that you are stunned at my awesome.

I’m also currently stunned at my awesome, for altogether different reasons. I shall elaborate.

So, my job sucks. This is actually not true. I like most of the individual elements of my job (medical filing, working with kids, working with kids who’re autistic or crazy or sad, playing on the internet all night), but there are two parts that suck: the fact that my shift is night shift, and the fact that I cannot stand my coworkers. I’m really not sure if it’s an autism thing or a smart thing (or if I could separate the two anyway), but I find them endlessly tedious with their social games and talking about things which do not hold any interest for me. This has been a long-standing and escalating complaint, from “You know, I really don’t have anything in common with these people” to “Not only do I not have anything in common with them, but I wish they’d stop telling me about their kids and little league and parking tickets–even I can tell someone doesn’t want to listen if they put on headphones, so why can’t they just shut up when I do it?” to “OMG STFU I AM WATCHING HOUSE” to my sobbing on the phone to my mom last Sunday morning that I really didn’t think I could come back in Tuesday (that would be right now, as I’m typing–technically Wednesday morning, but that doesn’t count).

She came up with a brilliant suggestion: move to Atlanta. My dad lives there, and will gladly put me up. I can quit this job in 4 months when my lease is up, move to Greensboro temporarily while I clean the apartment and then go to Melbourne, and then finish moving southward and get a job there. It’s a very big city–my favourite kind!–and full of healthcare related shit and IR shit, so I should be able to find something.

I’m scared, because my only friends are Kit, Stina, and Dylan, and I won’t have any of them. But this is why there is an internet. (This is also why there is an internet.) I will hopefully be able to meet some local Asperger’s/autism groups, maybe join a choir, maybe take up dancing again? I can go to school as long as I find a job that pays me enough (and I plan to try to stop by Melbourne Uni to determine exactly what they’ll want from me for the med school), and Prosper will keep me company.

As someone who perseverates to the point of panic on incomplete plans, I have a sense of restfulness and lessened anxiety for the first time in months.

Now I just have to convince my bosses that my plane ticket got cancelled so I don’t need to use all of my vacation time in May!