felt like the start of something bigger

I don’t really have words for how sad I am to have gotten a rejection letter from a job I applied for, earlier this week. I applied almost a month ago, and barely spoke to anyone; most of my contact with them was in voicemails left (that would be me leaving voicemails). The two real phone contacts I did have were both during the middle of the day, waking me up. I was never asked to go out to the school to interview properly, but I was strung along for four weeks hoping for a job that never materialized. Apparently would never materialize; the headmaster doesn’t like me after we met in April. I had gone, then, to turn in an application, and he interviewed me on the spot. Anyone familiar with anyone on the spectrum will be able to guess how that went (hint: I thought I did really well, until it turned out otherwise).

Now there’s a craigslist job posting recruiting for this same job. My ability to keep job searching has just hit an all-time low.

I had a job I thought was going to eventuate, back in June. I last heard from them two months ago to say that they were restructuring the company and when they were done they’d be in touch to hire me. My emails to them have not garnered responses.

I do not like my current job, but it pays the bills and has fabulous insurance. I was hoping to get something else so I can stop working night shift, stop hating the people I have to see every day, but realizing that it took two separate applications and interviews to get this shitty job doesn’t give me much hope for finding anything better. Is it so much to ask for a community of one’s peers? Or even a fair chance at an interview?

I guess so.